Hard decisions

You would think being in rescue you run across so many wonderful dogs.  There are so many that I always say "I so would keep you but...."  But the truth is it isn't fair.  Not all dogs can handle being owned by someone who rescues / fosters dogs.  AND in reality it isn't really that fair to keep some dogs because they are SO GOOD that you know they can make someone so happy

There are always dogs that are sick, abused, starved, injured, etc that take my time away from MY DOGS. Not all dogs can handle being pushed a side time over time over time again.
It really hurts me knowing I do that but I hug my dogs and explain to them that they were once the sick, the injured, etc and that I love you and I think they understand.

What is hard is when you realize that your life because of the rescue makes it unfair for a dog that you love SO MUCH that is one of your family.  You come to the realization that it is best for him to find a new home.

My life is by no means normal.  I am 34 years old, own a 17 acre horse farm which I purchased at the ripe old age of 27!  I have two elderly parents who live with me.  There health is fine for people in their late 70's early 80's but sometimes their "judgement," their "old school" methods and the TV so loud you can hear it at the neighbor's can really get to you.  My life is full of "well I can't have this or do that because of Mom or Dad"  The joke with my husband is, how did they raise 6 children and we all made it to adulthood with all body parts.  If you know my parents you understand that statement.
I work a very demanding jobs... the one I had for the first 7.5 years was getting so routine I decided to change jobs to get a new challenge.  Which is find but WOW did I lose so major work life balance.  I RARELY get home before 6:30pm. :-(   To top it all off I have been married for only 3 years which God love him for sticking around with my crazy parents and my never ending "fix it up projects" around the farm.  I swear you get one thing done and something else needs fixed / repaired / etc.
AND THEN I run what has turned into a pretty good sized non-profit dog rescue.  AND I am adding a baby to mix. OOPSE! Wasn't really planned but I guess God was ready to torture me as I did my parents I am sure!

So there you have it a life crammed FULL of not normal stuff and who suffers... my animals.  So the time had come when I realize that my Freedom, my beautiful boy who came from the most horrible life ever... dog fighting.. I really do believe it is worse then a puppy mill.  I need to find him a better home.  I know he loves me, I know he loves his life but he also lived 24/7 in a dark basement CRAMMED in a cage with 26 other dogs surrounding him and was I am sure tortured, fought and God only knows what else.

It isn't fair to him that I don't get home until 6:30 or later and he is locked in a crate.  It isn't fair to him that I spend all my time cleaning the house after my parents, feeding animals and taking care of rescue dogs and he just sits there staring at me wondering when he is going to get attention.  It isn't fair to him that I keep him and he doesn't get to know what having someone devote their time to is like.  I can't do that, I know that and it isn't fair to him that I keep him.

Am I rushing to find him a home NOW no, if the perfect home is found he will go and I will cry but I know it is the best thing for him.

The reality of it is, I could quit rescue and keep my dog or I can re home my dog and keep saving dogs.