Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Not me

It isn't me to not be able to handle pressure. It isn't me that can't handle the stress... well at least make it visible to others that I can't handle it. I know I take on a lot, I want to stop taking on so much and I was working towards that. If the people who are acting like such jerks would just back the freak off I would be fine.

Work is starting to get stressful, my project load has doubled in the last few weeks and I was informed today it is going to double again. GREAT! On top of everything else, I can't really handle that right now.

Something has got to give. I broke today, completely totally broke. I just need to pull it together.

I can stand up for myself and I can call people out on things they are doing wrong but what is hard for me is when someone goes after my character, saying they don't trust me or calling me a liar. Nothing hurts me more then those two things. You can call me a bitch, you can say I am a horrible dog rescuer, you can say I am not good at (fill in the blank) but when someone goes after my character that breaks me every time.

I hope that this hell I am going through will pass quickly, not eating and not sleeping isn't doing me much good.

I really wish I could call Kate and say you know what if Mindi would have just signed the freaking contract NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING. BUT OH NO she had to be a total bitch. Then like a spoiled brat say "if you don't like it come get the dog" Ok, can I have the dog then.. oh wait you didn't mean it. THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT. Jesus people be rational and civil. I wasn't asking for your first born, I was asking for you to sign a piece of paper. big deal! Get over yourself.

Ok, sorry venting... I am just so angry. Why do people have to be such jerks? I just want this to all be over. please God, please!

Dear God,
I feel a bit like a failure. I know you made me strong and I can handle a lot but honestly, this is way too much. Can you please please help? I don't want you or anyone to think I am weak but I am breaking. Maybe this is you allowing this stuff to happen to tell me to slow down. If that is the case, I get it. I really do. I promise I will slow down, please just make this all stop. Ok, well work can stay busy I like my job and busy is good but everything else. Can you please make it all go away?


Anonymous said...

I know things are hard now, but the dogs you've saved still thank you every day.

BTW - white text on white background is a little hard to read...I do like the new format, but the font thing needs a little tweaking. :)

And Kola (aka rat terrier mix puppy #4) who is now 1 and 1/2 half says HI!

Dog Rescuer said...

it was done on purpose ;-) I will put it back to normal as soon as the person who has been harassing me is gone for good.